Saturday, August 18, 2007

i am a professional fan

i think i may be a dancer.

i have realized at some point in my life i have secretly desired the ability to perform every imaginable art form. below listed is the art and at what age i longed to have that gift.

1- drawing, painting, your basic "artist"- i claimed this desire beginning around four. i remember saying i was going to be an artist when i grew up so i could paint at my canvas and stay home with my kids.

2. singing- ok, so i am just now getting that this route for my life isn't going to happen. only because i am now pursuing dancing.

3. theatre- beginning in jr. high the acting bug bit and then the sting went away around the time i went to college. looking back, this was an avenue i truly wish i had not let go...please friends don't let me be the parent that pushes their child into their dreams. but i do wish i had been pushed into mine a little harder. maybe children's ministry plays will satisfy this yearning.

4. pottery- mom used to take me to the pottery shop where i crafted and painted many a trinket. but this for me was little more than a fun day out with mom until i saw the movie "ghost" then i decided that would be a very cool job to have.

5. playing an instrument- let's see, first it was piano. i took lessons in elementary and even a class in college. it was fun and all but it took a lot of thinking so my desire to become a pianist wasn't very strong. then i realized if i didn't try to learn how to play the guitar i would not have lived. (this was last year) i self taught myself a few chords and again i realized it took a lot of thinking. all this thinking led me to believe i didn't have natural talent. how sad for me. now i truly think i may be able to play the drums. but thats a huge investment. maybe later in life?

6. writing- not too long ago, mom found a little construction paper backed book i wrote in kindergarten. in sixth grade i was sure to be a writer and that yearning took over as a senior i couldn't wait to write the next paper. in college however i tried to think more realistically and decided being a writer was far fetched, risky and unpractical. still my favorite class, you guessed- english lit. i remember so many details of that class. ahh, good times...

7. ballerina- the typical little girl's dream right? right. moving on...

8. dancing- ahh, here we are. in jr. high i came up with a dance for our MH cheer squad. i was so serious about it and thought it was so fantastic. i will never forget the look on merrilyn's face when i got thru with it. it was fast moving and for MH you had to do everything on a (pretty slow) 8 count. that dream fizzled until last night...

last night i watched the entire season on "so you think you can dance" skipping thru the talking and focusing on the dancing. i am realizing that my whole life has been a series of "so you think you can's..." recently, as i am maturing (ahem), i believe that God, in His infinite wisdom created me to be respecter of the arts. i wasn't blessed in any capacity with any of these amazing gifts. and my heart truly longed for each one.

but i do see that somebody has to be a fan. somebody out there has to be the person that can't wait to see the next performance on stage whether it be interpretive dance, hip-hop or a reading of Shakespeare or the solo performance that Bo Bice nailed. Somebody has to be out there to be so moved a tear wells up and their breath is held just for a second. i am such a fan it comes natural. i am in love with all the Dominics, Francine Rivers and Picasso's. and i can't wait to hear what Jack Johnson is coming out with next. i can't narrow a favorite musical artist down because there are so many. i am a fan. i can't wait for the free downloads every week on itunes so i can diversify my musical knowledge. i go to american idol concerts and cry and feel pride for contestants. my dream date includes a trip to the corner theatre downtown to see whatever is showing. my dream vacation is a trip to the beach to sit and listen to the ocean and read a book. i am a professional fan.

4 comments:

Cortnie said...

You should give yourself props for the talents you have. The passion(my most unfavorite word!)you have for all that stuff is one of the things I admire about you, you try everything and put yourself out there, HOW FUN!!! I always say that I never had the desire to be anything. But I think I have always been to scared of being a failure and also too lazy to do the work. My Dad always pushed me to do stuff, but somehere along the line the confidence was not instilled in me. Watching those people dance and seeing how much they love what they do, makes me wish I had some sort of desire or passion for something like that. They all seem like such genuinely awesome people, it makes you want to be them. But I guess I'll just continue being the FAN with you. Maybe I can instill that confidence in my kids to go for their dreams. Someday we can see them on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, Crumping, Ha!.
Love You!

Gena said...

you would think i would be more scared of failure...i know a lot about the subject. you sell yourself waaay short. the difference between you and me is if you did try any of these things, you would have the drive, motivation and "stick withitness" to actually suceed. you just need to get started is all...
maybe we will have these girls out there filling their dreams. i guess we better be ready to watch them crump (yuck!) if we motivate them properly maybe they will do exactly what we wanted to do all along! HA!

Amy F said...

CHICKEN SKIN?!

Bevin said...

Um, ok, so you sound just like me. I have wanted to do almost all of those things and I tell Corey constantly that I think I was meant to be a dancer. :)