Saturday, August 18, 2007

i am a professional fan

i think i may be a dancer.

i have realized at some point in my life i have secretly desired the ability to perform every imaginable art form. below listed is the art and at what age i longed to have that gift.

1- drawing, painting, your basic "artist"- i claimed this desire beginning around four. i remember saying i was going to be an artist when i grew up so i could paint at my canvas and stay home with my kids.

2. singing- ok, so i am just now getting that this route for my life isn't going to happen. only because i am now pursuing dancing.

3. theatre- beginning in jr. high the acting bug bit and then the sting went away around the time i went to college. looking back, this was an avenue i truly wish i had not let go...please friends don't let me be the parent that pushes their child into their dreams. but i do wish i had been pushed into mine a little harder. maybe children's ministry plays will satisfy this yearning.

4. pottery- mom used to take me to the pottery shop where i crafted and painted many a trinket. but this for me was little more than a fun day out with mom until i saw the movie "ghost" then i decided that would be a very cool job to have.

5. playing an instrument- let's see, first it was piano. i took lessons in elementary and even a class in college. it was fun and all but it took a lot of thinking so my desire to become a pianist wasn't very strong. then i realized if i didn't try to learn how to play the guitar i would not have lived. (this was last year) i self taught myself a few chords and again i realized it took a lot of thinking. all this thinking led me to believe i didn't have natural talent. how sad for me. now i truly think i may be able to play the drums. but thats a huge investment. maybe later in life?

6. writing- not too long ago, mom found a little construction paper backed book i wrote in kindergarten. in sixth grade i was sure to be a writer and that yearning took over as a senior i couldn't wait to write the next paper. in college however i tried to think more realistically and decided being a writer was far fetched, risky and unpractical. still my favorite class, you guessed- english lit. i remember so many details of that class. ahh, good times...

7. ballerina- the typical little girl's dream right? right. moving on...

8. dancing- ahh, here we are. in jr. high i came up with a dance for our MH cheer squad. i was so serious about it and thought it was so fantastic. i will never forget the look on merrilyn's face when i got thru with it. it was fast moving and for MH you had to do everything on a (pretty slow) 8 count. that dream fizzled until last night...

last night i watched the entire season on "so you think you can dance" skipping thru the talking and focusing on the dancing. i am realizing that my whole life has been a series of "so you think you can's..." recently, as i am maturing (ahem), i believe that God, in His infinite wisdom created me to be respecter of the arts. i wasn't blessed in any capacity with any of these amazing gifts. and my heart truly longed for each one.

but i do see that somebody has to be a fan. somebody out there has to be the person that can't wait to see the next performance on stage whether it be interpretive dance, hip-hop or a reading of Shakespeare or the solo performance that Bo Bice nailed. Somebody has to be out there to be so moved a tear wells up and their breath is held just for a second. i am such a fan it comes natural. i am in love with all the Dominics, Francine Rivers and Picasso's. and i can't wait to hear what Jack Johnson is coming out with next. i can't narrow a favorite musical artist down because there are so many. i am a fan. i can't wait for the free downloads every week on itunes so i can diversify my musical knowledge. i go to american idol concerts and cry and feel pride for contestants. my dream date includes a trip to the corner theatre downtown to see whatever is showing. my dream vacation is a trip to the beach to sit and listen to the ocean and read a book. i am a professional fan.